DEAD;;

Friday, December 18, 2009

I'm confused. Confused with life, love, friends. People say face life positively no matter what happens. Yeah I'm trying to do that now. Trying hard not to think about it. Therefore trying to face you with a happy font, hope that you will not be guilty or whatever when you see me. But what impression I caused, that I'm doing great? You have no idea how much turmoil is in my heart now, but yet I am unable to let you see.

Friends. Trying to enthu and ask people out, but hey what I got was ignores. In an extreme extent. I never demand people to go out with me, but at least tell me that you are not free or you dun want to go out instead of letting me fucking wait down there. Its okay this aside, when I tried to get together with a bunch of old classmates whom i feel most comfortable with. But again i was left out. They are gamers, which I'm not. Kept on gaming and gaming, I could not join. Install and join them? No i couldn. I dun have the ability to install and play online games, and therefore result in outcast. I know i should do whatever it takes to fit into people, like learning to lan, play online games together or whatever that is their way of life. But why cant they fit into mine instead? Just cos I'm the only one not playing any games, and thus gaming is the only way of life and to bond? Blimey.

I give up. I really give up on this world. I know I must accept my friends for who they are, but accepting really isnt the key to everything working well. When you cant even fit in, you accept and try to be with them. Try hearing them talk things you dunno at all. Maybe I'm thinking too much, or maybe I'm really just downloaded.

Rant.

10:14 AM;