yawnZ

2010-01-26T07:40:00.000-08:00

I dunno whether you are referring to me, but be it me or not, I just suddenly thought of how you have absolutely no obligations to bother about me since we are alr over. Sorry for being so irritating to you without knowing how busy your j2 life is, compared to me who is always so free and irritating you with smses/calls. I will try my best not to bother you anymore, but remember I will always be there for you when you need me. Even though I failed to dinner with you that time, I will still always be supporting you. And sorry again, for trying to encourage me but yet I'm still stubborn.

2010-01-26T06:43:00.000-08:00

You built me up, then tear me down. How do you expect me to build myself up again?

So what if I tell you, show you, that I am optimistic and have a goal in my mind now, that i have something i wanna become? So what, would that even change anything between us.

From hardly replying to bidding goodbye, aren't you just putting me down even more. My confidence lies in you and how you react to me, and that's why I'm forever pessimistic from now.

2010-01-24T11:35:00.001-08:00

Sorry for being such a hindrance.

2010-01-23T09:01:00.000-08:00

It's never enough to say i tried, and even when i tried. I really hope to know how you truly feel.

2010-01-22T11:21:00.000-08:00

I wish I was special, to you.

2009-12-18T10:14:00.000-08:00

I'm confused. Confused with life, love, friends. People say face life positively no matter what happens. Yeah I'm trying to do that now. Trying hard not to think about it. Therefore trying to face you with a happy font, hope that you will not be guilty or whatever when you see me. But what impression I caused, that I'm doing great? You have no idea how much turmoil is in my heart now, but yet I am unable to let you see.

Friends. Trying to enthu and ask people out, but hey what I got was ignores. In an extreme extent. I never demand people to go out with me, but at least tell me that you are not free or you dun want to go out instead of letting me fucking wait down there. Its okay this aside, when I tried to get together with a bunch of old classmates whom i feel most comfortable with. But again i was left out. They are gamers, which I'm not. Kept on gaming and gaming, I could not join. Install and join them? No i couldn. I dun have the ability to install and play online games, and therefore result in outcast. I know i should do whatever it takes to fit into people, like learning to lan, play online games together or whatever that is their way of life. But why cant they fit into mine instead? Just cos I'm the only one not playing any games, and thus gaming is the only way of life and to bond? Blimey.

I give up. I really give up on this world. I know I must accept my friends for who they are, but accepting really isnt the key to everything working well. When you cant even fit in, you accept and try to be with them. Try hearing them talk things you dunno at all. Maybe I'm thinking too much, or maybe I'm really just downloaded.

Rant.

2009-12-10T05:47:00.000-08:00

This post is dedicated to you.

Batam - Before Arrival Think About Money/Buy And Throw Away Money

This is what the tour guide of Batam said to us when we are at Batam trip. Why he downplayed his country's reputation is weird, but still he is a nice guy. Hendrys, we will remember his szx slang.

So overall, Batam trip was normal, because painting itself doesnt really help the orphans much. But actually Im quite contented that we managed to paint the walls, though of not-so-good quality, cos its quite a slack job compared to other classes doing more work than us. We had ample of time to change, eat, have some night time relax - its equals to a resort totally. First day was still quite enthu in painting cos its the first time we are doing this together as a class, but the 2nd day onwards started to get sian like there is no drive at all. Especially dickson, his face looked like he gonna die anytime.

I never knew much about Batam, so I thought it was just like Malaysia or something, but I was wrong. There is hardly any traffic system there, majority of the houses are very poorly constructed. The area where the orphanage is located is even more ulu. Though our painting of the place will have a small impact on these kids, we gave them chocolates and sweets that Clare's mum sponsored. Supposedly we would have much interaction with the kids in the orphanage, but this is not the case for our class.

Our hotel night life. We played cards, watched unknown tv channels, listen some songs, drank some cheap beer, and facing a crazy Eeban. Seriously first time see someone who is ultimately weird and dunno what is in his mind, till the extent I am scared he may kill himself or anyone. Had some division of class due to some class politics.

Goods. Yes the goods are cheap, but it doesnt give people the feeling of trust. Like they dun look of good quality, although some are known brands. Beer was 1buck+ while using a small amount of money could buy us a huge load of titbits and whatever. Saw some Ralph Lauren shirt, although cheaper but still could not afford.

Lastly, Mr Kuang was a very flexible teacher I had ever seen. We thought he was some nerd in math, but he talks like us, sang karoake, played pool, dun mind our vulgarities and played lan with us. A very cool teacher that we didn thought so in the first place, but sadly not the same class anymore next year.

Sorry I think this post is very short, please pardon me. I hope you will be satisfied with my post though, shall end here.

The rainbow is gone, my life goes back to black and white. I will still hold on.

2009-11-03T07:00:00.000-08:00

sensed the difference

2009-11-01T10:18:00.001-08:00

how much has changed.

well it has been ages since i blogged, sudden got the urge to come and type something but....... i dun think my desire can last that long. what about a new blog mmhmm

2009-03-10T08:00:00.000-07:00

finally im blogging again! yeah man, school is going great, but not exactly. cos i like how i dun feel as tired when going to cj compared to going to zhss last time. how i dun need to wake like freaking early and just nice and can have a nice breakfast before going to school wah so comfy. but i hate the weather these days. its definitely strange to have freaking cold mornings in March right? i thought it was supposed to be quite hot and summer feel. o.o so i hope my nose wont die on me because these cold mornings are really really really really cold i have to keep putting my hands into the pockets. people might think i acting cool. T_T

yeah so this week, its week 10 like wah very fast March holidays already! woohoo! while schooling, esp in jc, one simple one week short break can just make me soooooo happy luh seriously. like cos jc is super stressed. and this holidays can at LEAST gimme some break and more sleeeeeep. yes i love sleeep very nice. and how i feeel very envious of poly students, haven even start their school and like rotting till theres nothing to do. i think they can even feel sian without school luh. but i dunno, i just feel like jc and poly people are now in total different worlds already. jc people are busy chionging school, while poly people are poly-ing so there no longer any interaction luh. feel sad for zixiang who had most of his friends in jc.
and while in the course of cjc-ing, i kept thinking of zhss, and missed it so much. i dun have exact thing of zhss to miss about, i just miss the school and everything of it. ESP being in same class as beeeeeeeee! :((((( the feeling rocks seriously. and zhss suddenly feels so homey. really. like when i went back for a short while to zhss, i feel warm on the inside. maybe zhss motto did naturally become part of us- treating zhss as its 2nd home. i miss everything in zhss my god! :(
jc life is currently like a moving train, with a certain constant speed already. when its j2, its going to chiong full steam ahead. jc life is more like, pia, chiong, mug and everything NOT nice. now we are on the first year and we are so busy studying already. hais, i actually dun like this type of life. cos very fast we are so gonna go army and then become adult liao. :( means we have to work in the society soon! DDDDDDDD;

aiya but the main part im worrying is i cant really catch up. sometimes i feel i can understand, but sometimes i get lost totally. it seems like the jc train is moving while im behind it, grasping for air while trying to near it. i have to get used to this.
right now(nanana o.o) i should really stop thinking about life and chiong already! if not i will totally lose out to people in my jc already. strangely i though cjc wasnt that mug, but the sad fact it is.

yup, my birthday has passed already! it was the best birthday done by beeeeeeeeee! :DDDDDDD seriously, like in the morning i just as per normal crossed the bridge to the bus stop to wait for my bus. as usual smsing her and thought shes still at home preparing to go her school. then like very magically, she just appeared in front of me. i swear i was speechless cos i really dunch know whether am i dreaming or what. i never even thought that she would appear and seriously, her surprise succeeded! and really, thanks alot for doing so much for me! beeeeeee bought me 17 things(including of brownies, cheesecakes, bags, sweets, chocs, box file and a super nice candle-like letter! shes super cool i tell you, very cuteeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee! ;DDDDDDDDDDDDDD

then during school class celebrated for me, while doing a whip cream prank on my head. o.o after school when home to change and meet beeeeeeeee! she insisted on treating me to jap tepanyaki which is super ex to pay for both of us! but the food really dam nice, esp when beeee treated me to it. ^^

then afterwards we went to night safari! cool idea to go cos seriously long time nvr go le. and i think the experience is really very cool. night time experience wooh! both zoo and night safari rocks man, though some animals unable to be seen. o.o after that took bus back, we were so tired we woke up and found just nice at her house de busstop and hurriedly alighted. went around to find some place where she sang a shy birthday song for me! ^^ used the brownies as cakes and used the remaining candles to make a heart shape! though the day was tiring, but it was definitely fun, and i can say its my BEST and FIRST birthday with beeeeeeeeeeeeeee! yaye yaye yaye! XDDDDDDDD

3 more days to holidays wooh. here are the pictures! for a long time i haven been putting photos already! :)

wah stress face. :(

Night Safari! LOVE! :DDDD

cute beee riding on a zebra! :O

me riding a zebra! :O

artistic lamp siol

ben&jerry ice cream! and me. o.o

see thats me on left and right is beeee! they took a photo of us and put on our entry tickets! :shuai. :D

<3 shape with lighted candles! ^^

super nice brownies! :))))

wishing, i will make it come true! <3

laopo! thanks alot for everything! not just birthday, but for all these while and everything alright. ILOVEYOU. <3

2009-02-23T06:27:00.000-08:00

We are totally drenched after a super heavy thunderstorm, but we are not tired, we have rather found a new energy in us, that makes our feelings much stronger. we had gone through really big turmoil and upheaval, now we know how much we matter to each other. bee i love you. (:

cj is still the same, just that i have managed to catch up a little on the understanding of new topics teached. but theres this irritating midget(which yisen calls dwarf height peeps, damn bad but im still using it -.-) in our class, not i want to purposely outcast him. i tried to accept him in a normal way in the first place, but i can see he is getting on our nerves recently. or not recently, its gradually. maybe cos of his weirdness? i dun wanna ostracize him but seriously, he rants on the stuff we dun really get it, and tries to laugh at his own jokes, so this made himself a joke. so most of the time the bunch of us would be giggling because he is the joke, wah damn bad.

though lessons are boring, i hope im getting used to settling down and paying attention bah. today did work and understood wad my teachers are teaching! :DD Yeah for many people like they achieved that long time ago, but for me its an accomplishment to be able to understand till this extent, you feel damn happy when you got it. but im a chem lagger, cant get anything out of chem till i slowly think and analyse at home. at least i got it luh heh. :)

then finally today had mass pe, which is an unfortunate event where i got caught for my black laces. i dunno why must jc be so, strict? i mean we are all heading towards maturity, or some like me already being mature, they shouldn be so picky about appearance stuff right. like its jc so should just slacken down. not so picky on hair, okay maybe hair is understandable, but wad have a black shoelace gotta affect our studies? just like how ONLY cjc must wear white-based shoes like huh?! i thot cjc was a blessing in disguise cos of its slack feel, but im wrong. its quite strict on its discipline compared to many other schools. even comparing to top schools. so i think wad cj doing is redundant TO THE MAX. aiya shit im just blurting out how i got unhappied by injustice in cj. o.o

yeah so mass people was just like canoeing training, its tough but not as tough as canoeing training though. sweat the same amount still. and my leg couldn work well today, like very suan till you cant continue exercising it luh zz. then after pe i think i got super hungry and ate 2 servings again. always eating too much, but growing too little! inefficient growing and wasting of resources! :@

and one thing is jc needs their students to keep paying and paying and paying for their education. why? cos by paying for the notes, files, misc. educational stuff then can we spark off our education journey and then can we start to really get educated. damn sian keep asking money luh, much worse than secondary school. one shot asked 5, even 20. o.o

but eventually, im heading for a destination, where i can get my stable good pay job, and get semi rich, enough to spend can le, and provide for my laopo. im not bragging im serious okay. so i must work hard from now on. also must keep reminding myself to do canoeing trainings at home! (:

alright i think im ending here, my fringe is ugly luh. :(((((( not a long post though, sorry baobei! but it shows rather how i felt towards life now bah. babyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy HOB! :D

2009-02-17T06:59:00.000-08:00

So right now 3 weeks in CJ, i can say i should be used to it le bah. At first didn really like the school, plus not expected, but overall the orientation kind of proved me wrong. it was fun with the different dirty games, and mass dance. except for the time when they release us, always drag till super super late arghhhhhh. I can say i like CJ now, i will stay in it, but not say its my dream school. to me, its just a school i wont dread, or will i super crazed over it.

So i thought i found a rather nice friend, we calls him B cos he got the B face. cos the name B really suits his face, without specific reasons.

at first got off quite well, during orientation and first few days of official school days. but as days go by, maybe he isnt our character, maybe we too guailan for him, he kind of shunned us. like through the many actions, i believe its not being paranoid but its rather obvious. but well blame us in the first place for being so guailan, and maybe left him the impression we wont study and only knows how to joke and play. download us liao now. maybe the class also.

but mai siaosiao okay i got study de hor! though right now i cant make it thru the lectures, dun really understand what their talking. and really, it scares you and makes you panic when everyone in the lecture theatre is like answering the questions fired by the lecturers. howwww i may end up being the backseats strugglers. (got such word? o.o)

and anyway, jc life started with quite, not a good start. cos its no longer you can comfortably try to find a way to fit into the new environment. you have to be FAST, THINK FAST AND ACT FAST. wah for slow mo people like me quite hard eh.

FAST: for example ccas, we thought we gotta hell lota time to choose due to the 27Feb deadline, but found out everyone is chiong-ing for trials and such. so right now, not many trials left, or rather dun have liao. left with only cross country trial andddd odac for sporty ccas. the rest are just clubs which most likely do not need any trial. nothing appeals to me actually. howww? :( theres barely anything appealing to us right now, so have to go for dumb cross country club. missed vball and fitness club argh. and odac - NONO.

like at first thought i would love canoeing as a cca. yes i would like it to have a cca, but the training schedule is hectic like as if canoeing is your job, it takes up 5 days in your week. imagine everyday soak in water and just busy with trainings, where got time to care studies manzx. and the trial, it wasnt a tryout type of trial, its a endurance torture exercise. 10++ laps, countless sets of basic exercise and all sorts of shit. especially morning jog for canoeing. dun get scammed by the word jog, it should be sprint. totally drained your energy so you can have much time in class, daydreaming and dozing off.

THINK FAST: yes jc people understand problems and think very fast. i find that scary, cos weirdo/insomniac Ee Ban is like a nerd with high socks and is very clever. he dun exactly mug, but he is very interested in studies, very into it definitely. and he often ramble some random shit which resulted in us retorting a 'Kkk' in his face.

ACT FAST: when must do homework in library, as in need reference, no one procrastinates man. everyone just do it. like the Nike. they like always get things done fast not like me slackk slackkk and slackkkk. i should learn to be adult liao. uniforms also cant get like after 2 weeks. everyday gotta go check out if got stock, they restock like dam bloody small in quantity seriously. but im to blame luh buy uniform at so late.

hais now ccaless, uniformless and friendless. i believe things can get better, but even if it does not, i dun care, i still can live. i just know i dun want slack cca again. okay i need go get money from mum liao laopo please read this! :DDD i dun think its substance-ful leh sorryyyyyy.

2009-01-30T08:57:00.000-08:00

baby is back like FINALLYYYYYYYYYYYYYY! YAYEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE! but.. like left 2 more days with her then im off to cjc and shes off to ajc i dun want different school luhhhhhhhh. )))))): hope both of us will end up in NYJC appeal. (:

today was woken up by sms from MOE, not the alarm. was like open the sms and str8 away wake up. wtf cjc?! i nvr expected to go into this jc and nvr wanted to go luh. like i just put it in 6th choice cos i nvr really thought i would go so far till the 6th. then i got headache cos started fretting about it while immediately forced the brain to wake up. asked around and found very few went cjc, and many didn get into the jcs they wanted, and many didn get into like 1st or 2nd. what is moe becoming man? then like at first still pondering if should go sentosa, but in the end still went luh.

reached and went to buy black peppered ham while waiting for tzekiat to come. then we set off to sentosa, and was quite pleased cos the blacks could go to the outing with us. walked for quite long before reaching siloso beach de end part where we immediately played soccer. wah i wonder what happened to me, we played for just awhile, like after some running, and we were all panting and sticking out our tongues like dogs. like super duper hot, warm, stuffy and out of breath! still continued to play till finally we all rest, and was in a confusion. cos i was feeling dizzy and was about to faint omg. like trying hard to stay conscious cos seriously about to pengzx. then finally the latecomers, lam zx and shaun came. the rest went to play soccer with other people under the pavillion while me tk and jianan chose to camp and watch the bags. actually its just i dun want blisters to my feet again. and like played this forfeit game, each round will increase the number of push ups by 5. wah did like many and jianan kena 50. watched tk roll on the beach damn retarded got video.

then wanted to play forfeit game when they come back, but like i couldn move them at all so went to lunch at delifrance and keep refilling the ice lemon tea. then went back, some went to walk walk while the rest we played rugby. also played awhile quite fun but panted like fuck. the duration of our games damn fast finish de. then eventually few decided to leave and left 6 of us playing vball. my arms hurts like hell when sand-covered vball descend from high in the air luh. even when rain liao still played vball like siao.

so finally went to bathe and felt so fresh cos no longer has sand in underwear. ;X went back to vivocity and left with jianan to mrt. managed to reach the salon by 7.30pm, like they were about to close on 8pm. managed to persuade them to do my hair makeover. so now my hair is short, nerd and ugly luh. flat black head like a mushroom. T_T wanted to meet beee but cant and caused her to be scolded by father. ):

now i keep sneezing i dunno why. i think caught a cold or something, my nose is really a great irritance. beee hates me. ))))))))))))))))))))))))))))):

2009-01-29T04:11:00.000-08:00

alright i nvr blog for the past 2 days cos i was at shiyuan's house on 28 night. so here are the rough details on these 2 days. (:

28 Jan
woke up finally at a later time compared to cny days. woke up and like called that NES(Not Enough Sleep) shiyuan to meet at bishan. cos he is practically staying up every night getting hooked to the com and sleeping when the sun is about to rise. met him fast for the first time, before that met jianan kenny tzekiat for the awhile cos i dunno why they chose bishan to stroll around. after met ate some shit chicken rice from Qi Le, sucks man not nice. then i was wearing cap so shiyuan keep taking out my cap to see my cap lines on my hair. dam ugly. taxi-ed to his house, ate mac, used com for one whole night - guitar and watching people fail at different type of stuff. and watched him play some zombie shooting Left4Deaddam real life game before sleeping at 5am the next day.

29 Jan
woke up and i think he cant make it like he seriously like sleepy im not that. straight prepared and went jamming. it was phail, epic phail. cos watch too many people fail at www.failblog.org so i guess we got influenced to fail. failed jamming cos only had 3 people we couldn complete the roles. had a hard time trying to sing while playing guitar. after that even failed to flag the bus 13, just allowed the bus to go pass us just like that. so he went home to sleep i went to dye my hair. but wait the salon wasnt open so shit, half happy half sad. happy cos can still keep my hair, sad cos i dunno when else i can do that, like dam rush liao no time. hope perhaps tomm after sentosa i can find some time to dye my hair black. cut tomm should i or wait till 31? need some time organisation to be able to dye my hair on time tomm evening.

so now i just woke up and ate my dinner cos went home and pengz. actually also not so tired luh. YES left one more day hope can meet baobei tomm night when she comes back! :D:D:D:D

2009-01-27T07:43:00.000-08:00

today visited quite a number of relatives, in decreasing order. we haven really finish up the visitings yet though, left 2 houses. but overall i think its okay. received many angbao, though nvr really count how many i got. and also, i was quite surprised when yaosheng said he reads on naruto. woah. and he told me he regretted going into nyjc back then and would yearn for sajc. zzz but i still think, yes sajc might be a fun school, but im not going to get dragged into the play mood. i want more of balance. as commented by him, nyjc peeps also play alot, but not as capable as sa people. aiya go in liao then say luh! but anyway also submit my choices liao, so no use thinking so much. ate many cny goodies. talked some. at the end at my cousin house playing Daidi and Blackjack. was quite unlucky compared to yesterday, keep baoing and kena open hand. so sort of lost what i earned yesterday. so now back here, feels that cny is like over. cos the visitings have already been done, and they are all prepared to work/study tomm. awww but we are gonna start soon too. T_T im hungry now again, want to eat. and i installed guitar pro already! i was thinking, cos perhaps jamming tomm. like abit rush uh. nvm see how zx replies.

now left a few days to school reopen, but only have 1 day with beee. ))))): im really quite upset over this, cos i want to spend last days with her before going to different schools. and like why must there be a freaking gathering AGAIN right after cny. damn bek chek. z. now cant sms beee cos dad suspects. he even called me one instance. O.O seems like you have disappeared luh, where are you babyyyyyyy. ))))))))))))))))))))):

11.53pm

2009-01-26T08:38:00.000-08:00

Reply to Bee's letter:

yeah i guess im really quiet in a crowd. but i can explain. its not because im an inert person, its just i dun want to be over enthu that in the end sort of make a fool out of yourself. i have experiences where i was very enthu budden the group dun seem to appreciate it and showed unwillingness. i dun want to be some thick face person who is acting on my own accord where they simply dun agree with my enthusiasm. so i have sort of learnt not to be too enthu in a group. besides, i aint close with them, so like im afraid they might think, "why is this guy like kinda talking too much" and maybe cause them to dislike me. one example is like kt, who many people dun really like him cos he talked too much sometimes or maybe enthu in a way people dislike. another example is like casey, where they dun really like him cos he is always at the fore front being too enthu and irritates them. and you see always when i want to like 'crazy' or talk more lively, my closer friends as you should know, keep retorting back. i mean yes, because we have been 4 years of friends, we are used to this, do you realise like they retort almost every sentence i say. i mean just to purposely guailan, but its also a kind of rejection i feel. i also very guailan, but not till the extent every sentence i retort. and when i retort, i dun scold 'dog' or 'shutup'. yes once again, it comes down to "being 4 years of friends". but i just find it rude, like people wanna properly say something but i cant get it across. so i dun want to enthu too much in case its just another guailan retort in the face, and as i said, im not close with them at all in fact. and seriously, i actually dun have many friends but i really hope you dun mind. friends in this case mean really can talk and share and like play a role as a true friend. maybe in this case i only have like shiyuan? or not. but dun worry, i can still click quite well with them, not in the sense really true friends but just good friends. and well im not closing up; i tell you everything right, like i find no barrier in saying anything so sometimes you may find me like weird why am i rambling this and that. everyone wants a good friend right, who wont wish for? but i cant find any, so to me you are my truthfully my everything already. but perhaps i got my retribution, cos i misdeed in the past. guailan-ed to the very extreme extent, so now im just getting back what i threw at other people last time. and i couldn just talk normally to any of my friends, just selective talking cos certain topics just create barriers between friends and me. yup and i agree i seriously did change, its not i anti-social but its more of phobia. i seriously hope you dun mind at all, because i will be more active if you want. i can be very active, but maybe this enthusiasm isnt what THEY like. can ask one of my 4years friend, cos they definitely can say that i used to be very GUAILAN and crazy.

just want to voice out what i really feel luh, i really hope you dun mind me being quiet. im still sociable, just i like to stand one side and not become a clown in the end. lol was supposed to sleep after reading your letter, but couldn fall asleep so blogged this out for you. hope you get what i mean baby. :)

1.03am

2009-01-26T02:21:00.001-08:00

back from bai nian, i guess i will blog now cos i wont be able to blog at night later. after dinner im heading to cousin house to play bah, so wont have time to blog. besides tomm must wake early for more bai nian. ahhhhhhhh. i dunno why but i dun really enjoy cny now.

anyway, so went to Dua Bei house( BIG uncle house ) and saw a pet dog! omg super cute with a small tail shaped like a bun. its dam active as expected. ate there, then went to 220 to meet the rest of our relatives. bai nian and receiving of hongbaos, nicenice. so nvr did much, except keep playing blackjack. lose win lose win. so nvr earn much.

then went popo house and stoned much, almost fell asleep cos their canto is inaudible. some yes but mostly no. now back home, feeling drained and lethargic.

beeeeeeeeee ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh! :'(

2009-01-25T09:37:00.001-08:00

I'm missing you badly now, argh. ._.

2009-01-25T04:14:00.000-08:00

3rd day le. :((( faster come back luhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh. >:(

anyway, so today woke up with my nose feeling weird, and i have to eat some porridge thingy it just spoils my mood. wanted to play some guitar but end up getting hooked to a channel 5 movie. not any nice show but just my plain laziness. so after show like woah, damn fast 3 liddat have to prepare to go over and have reunion dinner.

when reached there, played 2 rounds of 2 person Bridge, then watched them play mahjong. i only know abit of it, so was absolutely sianned. but after that was okay, cos had Asshole Daidi and made my little cousin the asshole always. then taught them Banlad. :o hope tomm can play some money. anyway i wonder how this season de cny would be, cos im feeling reeeeeeeeeeally empty right now. DDDDDD;

alright now im stoning, packed my room, so dun really have anything to do. baby where are you now worrrrr. ):

2009-01-24T04:14:00.000-08:00

2nd day le, arghhhhhhh. today wasnt very fruitful, as in not much activities. now im yawning, cos damn sian, and the night is still young.

today 24 Jan, woke up late again. as i expected kangtai would meet me later and yes i can get more sleep woohoo! then finally when we met, ate nice chicken rice then went to this playground to play guitar. changed to another since it was freaking humid and hot. then finally played some songs and very fast, time's up gonna go for prayer thingy.

so parents picked me up and we went to pray for a short while then heading home. i felt headache in the midst of the prayer i dunno why. i thought like maybe can go shiyuan house slagg, but he cant and i found nothing to do. wanted to play drum but like very sian alone go play. LONELY. so considering whether should go bball with lam now..

alright today i really got nothing to blog luh my day is so short today it makes me wonder why. but day short good luh, beeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee can faster come back! :@:@

8.24pm

2009-01-23T08:11:00.001-08:00

now its night, the worst part of the day always. especially now you are overseas, i cant help but miss you so badly. kept thinking of your little actions and all, makes me wanna see you so damn badly, sigh.

so 23 Jan, i woked up at 8, and felt so damn sleepy. half of me want to stick the comfy bed, while the other half of me tells me i must go this last time soccer. but still, the lazy part of me overruled the other. so i slept like a bloody pig till 12plus, i wanted to find them in school, but because of my hair and all the hassle, decide to meet them when they got out.

met up, but didn realise we would end up singing k. had quite a good time singing cos long time nvr release my beautiful voice. o.o then because of this, we cancelled the supposed bugis dinner. we walked past the soccer place, saw some kids playing so was tempted to challenge. at first was winning, then dunno why cos sian we lost in the end. but cant blame, cos we were playing against stinky yalams who thinks small kids have the right to push. yalams can go die luh bloody shitzx. and kenny almost like fight with them woah.

so for dinner, we ate a spread at ty house. the food was really nice luh, with xiuquan clearing all the remaining food. ended up after dinner most of the people went home like losers, only left me warren kenny xiuquan to watch i forgot whats the name show. was nice but sleepy.

now back home, all sticky and tired, but whats really bothering me now is my emotions. i feel so down. i mean yes to many people, their gf/bf go overseas just for a while they will definitely miss but wont make a big fuss about it. but really i just feel very miserable now luh how. faster come back luh beeee. )):

12.21am

2009-01-16T11:21:00.000-08:00

wah i look at this blogskin damn old and disgusting! must change liao. kinda lazy now, cos no one really comes to my blog so it doesnt matter. around 6 more days left with her! DDDDDDD;

2009-01-15T08:21:00.001-08:00

but on a happier side, there a few happy events, not really happy but just not sad.

in the morn zixiang and kenny came my house. then like went to fetch them and didn realise my house area got fogging activity taking place. like when reach my house downstairs got fucking lot of dead cockroaches, half dead, flying, crawling, running cockroaches everywhere that scared the fuck out of all of us. like an infestation luh totally scared like wtffff.

then like reached my house thot safe le. then started setting up, played some songs, felt so warm, then like WAIT. OMG I SAW SOMETHING CRAWLING ON THE WALL. A FUCKING COCKROACH ON THE WALL! then wahhhh this fellow got lucky into my house and we attacked it with rolled newspaper. then saw in the kitchen, FUCK MORE AND MORE APPEAR. cos i think nvr close kitchen window then escape to my house. walau ehhh so high up 15 floor also can reach. then like totally freaked out when tried to killed cockroaches, killed one appear one killed one appear one again. zixiang freaked out till screamed, and my bro came to help too. like killed near to 10 cockroaches, including babies one. then got this cockroach zixiang tried to pk. it ran and like zixiang just frantically whacked like many times but all MISSED! wth seeing his reaction damn damn funny laugh till peng.

but after that went to some peaceful playing of songs, then well we could play so many songs actually but went jamming dunno why can play NONE.

then after choosing and submitting le, copied some tabs and rested back till 3plus went to see baby reborn hair at AB Salon! heh she looks dam cute with a round round face! :D:D:D and with clips too! super cute keep stealing glimpses at her. ;x

so that was all about it, the later part of the day, VEXED. now im okay yaye! nynyny, cnycnycny! :D

12.31am

2009-01-15T07:48:00.000-08:00

okay i am feeling very vexed now. though i amended the jae form already, i still have mixed emotions in me. like just very vexed. firstly, why the hell do i go get a 13 for my olevels. i mean, okay its not bad already, cos i have been expecting pretty high points. BUT, i still feel quite upset this score doesnt really mean i can go many jcs. yes there are actually many jcs for me to choose, but by ruling out the lousy jcs i have 3 left in mind.

aj - very slight chance of getting in cos many peeps are demanding this factory
ny - just nice my 10points but i freaking hell dun like this school, not my taste
sa - i am okay with this school just i dun want to get influenced to a play mood and it requires me to walk far, but anyway i still stand a low chance in entering

yeah so fuck, many people are vexed and in a dilemma too. many cant decide. i have decided, but yet not happy. cos why, i regret not having work just a LITTLE harder in my cca to achieve A2, which can now save me and give me higher possibility to aj. i want go aj science stream, which is 8 and i have 10. pui think will want me in? so far differences, plus so many zai people going into this factory.

aiya deserve it, to a slacker who dun work hard and get caught in a vexed position. but comparing to many people, i do slack and do less, but doesnt mean i dun do at all. i just did work hard, and i do my homework as usual, not totally slacking. im just a half slacker, but i get higher points than full slacker. pretty sianned.

then at first i thought i had confirmed my submit already, so i was ready to enjoy some jamming. my pure intention is just to go there and have fun, like even if do not know how to play on the instruments, you can sing and just go happy easily. but what the fuck reach there the fucking person has no middle rooms for us, we have to take the small $12 rooms. like already sian liao, yet saw everything got fault. spoiled guitars, faulty amps, cracked cymbal, missing keys in keyboards and electrically charged mikes. almost everyone that first came, yearn for a nice experience, and just plainly setting up and look at these shitzx sianned the half of their spirit.

then we found we got no lyrics for the song we wanted to play, no drummer when im singing, no singer when im drumming, everything was just cocked up and like watched everyone saying fail. on the first experience, they saw us fail and like didn enjoy. whats further, not everyone has same interest in songs, so some want sing that, dunno this, went out of tune, go too fast. everything was just chaos in there, and 2hours passed like this. fucked up jamming.

to think last time we keep saying, our past band keeps playing the same song over and over again, but now we can play not a single one. dam cool.

yeah but like now feel vexed also no use. fate decides where i should go bah. hope i really can be in the same school as her, but very slight chance. :( aiya fuck submit liao still talk so much, go settle my mood down and bathe liao.

12.08am

2009-01-02T09:24:00.000-08:00

Hi.

I am here to blog.

Or rather just write out some personal feelings that are raging in me. Not really raging but just in the mood to write them yeah.

So now is 3 January 2009. I still cant really get myself to believe we are all in a new year now once again, all the secondary school life is over and done. No more anymore.

And right here all the graduates are waiting for the horrifying results on 12 Jan.

Wah seriously, its a scare to me, cos i know i will get really BIG points.

At first when i olevel-ed, I felt like,

"Gee olevels aint that difficult, I wont have to worry cos I know I can do it."

But now like think back, and looking at alot of confident people, I feel actually I do not stand a high chance of getting nice points. Really. I could feel I would once again be in disappointment, like how i got my results for PSLE.

But yeah seriously, no point worrying now, whats done is already done, the points will be set there already. Just voicing out some personal emotions. Await 12 Jan. D;

Okay enough of this results ranting, I must enjoy myself to the fullest in this period of time before I sink into depression after 12 Jan.

I actually have sudden loads of activities to do, and I'm wondering why I never did them in the Novs and Decs.

I gotta ride bike in ECP, watch many many movies, eat stingray at ECP, bird park. I wanna do all these now luh. Qi dai!

One positive thing now is, we are looking at people going to school, so its kind of 'xing zai le huo', or no? When seeing people go to school, it feels like you are so damn free and nice, I like.

And right now I'm missing BB againnnnn. Omg there are two days before i can see her again! ): Xin ku for me luh, cos tomm is dreadful family bbq which I'm not in the least interest, and Sunday BB cant come out. How? )))))))));

I'm ending this short post, just some random post bah.

Byebye.

2009 gives me a sense of dread, idk why. Supposedly we should be happy cos a new year means once again full of surprises waiting for us, and we get to have new things in life. But I just feel dreadful about what is awaiting us in 2009. After admitting into any institutions, we will all be facing a new environment again, new life, and back to the study mood to piah all the things cos cant play play in poly or jc. Why do I still feel dreadful about going to a new environment? Lol maybe I'm just still a kid haven grow up.

1.45am signing off

2008-12-15T10:15:00.000-08:00

yaye update for my dead blog! i haven been treating this a blog cos i lost interest in blogging so will randomly have a short update to my blog bah. i think my post will still be wordy and boring, but i just feel like blogging now! hope baobei dun mind the length and the suckiness of my post! DDD;

so recently didn have much activities, was all about arcading and slacking around with dearest baby. omg i dun wanna addict to arcade, and spend my precious money away. now i start to feel money is precious, cos i need money for many things! like many occasions are coming up le, with the end of year approaching. argh then it feels like the holidays are coming to an end booohoo thumbs down manz.

then then then it makes me think of the date of the olevels results. ahh its really really near, though mentally prepared myself but still, scared will trauma me lol. i think i will get alot of points, so i guess im seeing myself going to poly le. not something to be sad or happy about, but i dun think i got a chance to jc. alright wassup with this rant, moving on.

i sudden realised a day's arcade, even if its just a few credits on drum, or other games, it will accumulate a big amount at the end of the week. to think, this amount can actually be used to buy certain stuff we like, or for whatever need, but yeah its kind of late to realise. much of my money is already donated to the arcade machines. but yeah, have to earn some money as xmas is coming and many events coming up! i dunno why but i like xmas, give you a nice feeling. (:

talk about work, im rather disappointed cos recently work keep cancelling due to lack of teams. not wad i want but i think its rather this job isnt that appealing anymore- there are more better paid waiter and promoter jobs. T_T i dun wanna work or find job, i just know i need quick cash and this will only come from icecream sales. hope these few days will really have work! i think baby also quite sian of work cancellation too frequent, and like have to lie to parents. feels so bad luh. x_x i wanna help in getting more teams, but none of my friends seem to be the least interested. or do i have real friends to start with? o.o

this incident that made me feel, people are really superficial. they can be thinking so much behind the scenes, and when out in the open they portrayed a different thing. to think the word 'friendship' is being used to cover up the ugliness of this superficiality. yucks. now i really do know how ugly can the world be, like simply will leave you mouth open with a 'wtf', and then leave you to feel: sigh forget it not worth it. at the end you still get shaken because you cant really trust anyone anymore. its quite sad when you are unsure of what to speak to who. and maybe people do have a 'lower' status compared to your oh-so-right expectations, but at least they hold true and simple friendships.

okay, not too much feelings into this, its already over and done, now what is left is most prolly partnership. on 14dec went with baby to sentosa, at first had the idea of slacking and resting at home. but cos its a fresh idea to picnic, we went on with it!

we brought these to picnic:

bee's chicken nuggets

bee's cut little pieces of sausages

grapes

black pepper ham

chips

tuna

1litre plain water

apple with aloe juice

colourful strawmat

wang wang biscuit

and yeah i think thats about it, we were full by the time we finished the nuggets and sausages! actually wanted to buy more like sushi and impossible food like icecream lol. but guess what we reached sentosa facing a big rain. it was big as it was raining elephants and pigs, as stated by bee. XD

we went palawan beach and mistaken, went siloso beach also cant make it cos Zoukout just ended and the workers are cleaning up the place. so like we were stranded in the rain, helpless in getting any spot for picnic. so ended up we took refuge at the bus stand there and started eating our food. quite a nice spot for picnic actually! then there was this handphone strap half hidden in the bush that made baby thought it was a snake and scared her lol, omg cuteness.

and we accident told a foreigner with his kids the wrong direction to underwater world. we were just a siloso beach near to underwater world but we forgotten! when he asked us we told him to take a bus there, end up actually he had already arrived but took one whole round back to where he was. think he got pissed off lol.

and so i realised another thingy about sentosa is, there are alot of non-chinese people in mass. i dun mean the foreigners, but the indians and malays. heard from beee they like beaches alot, and i wonde why seriously. nothing really link to their race and culture isn't it? o.o like wherever i go, they would be there in groups and mass.

so the rain finally got lighter, went to buy a nice orange sentosa umbrella to shield our bags and things. but its nice looking, but really expensive. wanted to have the nice big one, but i couldn afford. so we 'suntanned' and got some spot finally. took alot of crazy pictures, and drew a nice heart shape around our picnic site. <3

today quarreled with baby till very bad, i was in a half conscious state when i went to her house area. not because i am sleepy. then i was totally pleasantly surprised when she came down with an icecream, omg i really got speechless. thanks baby. (((;

but because i nvr bring sticks out today, both our hands got stung by the amk hub attached drum sticks cos there were some sharpies poking our hands when we played, failed like at first and second stages. and also we see this new toy machine where you have to adjust very properly to get a stick into a hole to win a prize. sounds wrong? O.O seems easy to me, but diff to achieve such. the prizes are appealing, but the cost of one credit is a bomb too. many old uncles are trying to gamble their money into achieving the soft toys. quite incredible that this is actually a form of gambling too, wasting their money $2 after $2.

so because the time was still quite early, went bishan to slack for awhile before returning back to amk. bishan has no more funland for us to visit anymore, how i miss those 4th mix moments! and like we talked quite alot on the bus back home, hmm and she knows my dark secrets. =OO

so yeah im here to end my blogging, i notice i have quite alot to say seriously! and by the way, im addicted to icecream now so icecream sellers please come my house and sell to me some icecream i want cookies and cream. i wonder why am i so hungry despite eating just 2 pratas. alright im signing off already, beee rate my post pweesh! (:

3.17am

2008-11-18T09:49:00.000-08:00

Wednesday, 19November, late night 1.50am

wah sibei lei now sialzx. just came back from icecream selling at yew tee. god damn it luh today sell until no more feeling luh, sian till the extent i just kept on selling despite many rejects from people. ended up only 16 boxes sold, unable to clear. but well look on the brighter side, i still earned quite alot within these two days luh, can let me buy the stuff for beeee and treat her! XDD

today was quite lifeless luh, came back from timon house and slept till 1plus pm but my body just want to stick to the bed and continue sleeping. when the thought of preparing the stuff for beeee then i went to bathe and tried to get the job done luh, but its really not so easy to be done i kept trying to sort out my thoughts what to do first zzz. later in the day today, im gonna complete more of the stuff hopefully? :)

so after waking up met up with joseph and we thought we were late for icecream but well was just right on time. there was some confusion when arrived at the location cos there were short of teams to start and like barely just managed to start work. so i had a bad feeling i would sell not good, so i was right. i dunno why i felt quite tired today luh.

i guess im gonna sign off now to sleep already, it is a very short post beee sorry! cos not much things happen in the day. :( next post tomm and countdown of 2more days arghh!

Signing off, 2.01am

2008-11-17T16:05:00.000-08:00

Tuesday, 18 November, morning 8.06am

I'm alive in the reality world while most people are still roaming in their dreamy world of theirs. I'm here to blog for beee! =DD I never felt so anticipated in blogging before, because I'm doing blogging for beeeeeee to read when she out in malaysia. :( Sigh, there are still three long days before she comes back to S'pore, sianzxzxz damn loooooooooong luh canzx. To me is seriously is damn long luh, kept wanting to sms beee. T-T But as she said, I can do my present for her without the need to do in secrecy, but still not a reason to leave for so lonoooooooog. Qi dai 20November when she comes back, but only most probably be meeting on 21st. T_T Beeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee! :(

So anyway i should stop ranting i rather blog about what have i done in the whole day of 17November. I bet she wants to know too. :)

Woke up in the morning feeling very empty cause I can't get to sms beeee. =/

So I became damn lazy and like slept till near 1pm then i woke up to watched some lame shows, due to my laziness to move.

Wanted to go do the stuff for her, but realise it will be quite mafan if i bought it and brought it along to work, so decided to do it today.

Called victor and waited till he recovered to be better and so we went to eat at s11.

To my surprise the 'Economic Rice' stallholder recognised me and asked me to eat, but dam paiseh cause rejected and went to buy chicken rice instead.

Was quite surprised quite many came to work, some from the connection of edward from counter strike and could even get foreigners to sell. O.O

Siyuan went to sell too, I thought he meant he would bring some friend i dunno but he's actually fang yi lol.

So we arrived at Clementi and after some decision I set off to work quite early with stock of 20. I wasn't confident at first due to my previous sales alone, and actually wanted to stock of 15.

But Clementi is full of surprises, as in I think its just my block cos most of them bought 2 at once so I can quickly clear my stock away.

Was elated when i finally cleared the entire stock cause I never did so before, and told beee the news anyway. I hope today's sales would be good too, cause the last time I went to sell at this location it wasn't good though.

The bosses were still busy in settling their procedures when received a call that police is nearby, so quickly took the van to getaway. On the way back. discussed lots of shit about icecream sales and stuff, and some random lame topics.

Muthu said timon birthday was yesterday, so victor and I went to his house to thon overnight. Called mac, played with the small kitten, played some guitar without anybody appreciating, ate mac, tried to capture the kitten in the darkness, stuffed tissue at weilong's mouth, caused spillage of coke, fake wrestle with timon, and finally went into hibernating mode. Eventually, I fell asleep at 4plus and got constantly woken up by the noisy bastard muthu.

So got chased back home by timon cause he wanted sleep, thus the state I'm in now. I'm still working today alone hais sibei boring, hope that it would pay off from the hardwork and boredom.

I'm trying to type formally haha can you se? o.o

And sianzx, I'm missing her right now, kept thinking how is she doing in malaysia. Though its only a mere 4-5 days, but its still freaking long for me luh. Maybe I could go get a prepaid card line so can sms whenever my sms bao, cause right now bao like fuck already when its not even near the end of month. Beeeeee ah faster come back luh, xiang ni luh! :(

Signing off, 8.39am

I miss you baby. I need your presence to keep me going. <333

2008-11-15T09:32:00.000-08:00

well been through quite alot of stuff recently. been through quite some emotional upheaval in me. all is well finally now. <333

so i went kimage cos i trusted siyuan's foresight of getting our hair dyed nicely. but oh i sort of regretted going there cos i had to wear space cap for highlighting of hair while siyuan just used aluminium foils. and his hair is much faster done than mine, with a nicer look luh. i guess im just unlucky cos i kena one very noob trainee, and so my head hurts whenever she trys to pick out my hair through the holes of the space cap using a sharpee. then the resut was shit man. it isnt really copper red, yet looked like gold, but the highlight was totally messed up and awful. i am the only one who isnt satisfied with my coloured hair.

and i went to my trusted aunty hair salon today to ask if i can save my pathetic hair, and so she said i should paint it red and now my hair is really reallly red that when i bathe there is still pink water dripping from my head. o.o but i like it. and so is beee! ^^

but with this look of mine, more people are attracted to me. as in not because im good looking, but because i look more bengzx and attracted unwanted attention from bengzx. i dunno wad does their eyesight meant when they look at me, wo bu shi bengzx can. T_T

so much ranting about hair colouring that took place for only two days, and there are still a whole load of holidays to enjoy wooh yeah! but if we are enjoying at this rate days wont feel like 24hours each and very fast we will be taking the damned results. D; okay dun talk about results now, enjoy first! looking forward to chalet totally, but before this are around 5 days of torture. beee is going malaysia and im gonna miss her luh, i guess i will just be working icecream and some kbox with barry bah. actually you might be wondering why am i making a big fuss when my stead is just going for hols very fast come back. but well, she is more than everything to me alright. :@

okay i think i am able to blog that out cos no one reads my blog anyway and shes the only one! ^^ more adventures in the holidays soon! alright im gonna go click on her blog right now to seee my nice face! XD

thanks for letting me know i mean so much, dun leave me baby. i love you. <33

2008-11-08T08:27:00.000-08:00

end.

2008-09-30T08:36:00.000-07:00

15 more days to combined science practical, 19 more days to first olevels paper! i cant believe time really do bring us to this stage so fast; graduation is coming in less than 10days and we are leaving this school so soon! i remembered disliking this school at the start of secondary one cos i really dun want to enter Zhonghua, but now im so used and fine with everything in this school, it makes me kind of reluctant to leave. no more times to stay back in classes and play any shit thingy, kick balls, fight, push, catching, run and more. i am really going to miss the times in this school manzx sighhhh. graduation day is coming, i guess will be dam sad cos we wouldn be seeing each other in class anymore and might even lose contact.

but like while you brood over reluctance to leave school, hit back to the reality. not much time to ponder anymore cos olevels are really near. real real near. what the hell i still cant take the fact that im going to take olevels so damn soon luh. damn not prepared. ): But well i am really going to do my best and put in all my efforts, so if get lousy results bo wei gong lor. (: Jiayou for the remaining days in both olevels, and in school!

lets see, both maths, its really can or cant le, as long as got practise means can make it, dun careless can le! sciences need buck up on physics guess will be alright. left with combined humans and leeeet, both this is really hard to score. i dunno why, i rather leeet get higher grade tho! tho i fucking hate leeet exams its so irritating. wondering if JC should take leet. O.O

olevels is just one big custom checkpoint on our passports, once we get thru we will be enjoy whatever that is ahead! which is the fucking enjoyable holidays! i am wondering how am i going to spend my days when my beee might be going msia for a week and i cant follow. i can go die luh seriously. T_T And holidays going to get my greyed hair done nicely i guess? yup work hard for now, come to think we nvr really study that hard in our life then now expect us to chiong in the last lap for merely 20days aint difficult yeah? (:

and my greatest fear is of course not getting enough points to choose. if i can choose then i would be able to choose the same JC with BEEEEEEE! <333 Shall stop fearing and work hard, before my fear really come true. Jiayou olevels woooooooooooh!

I'm all about youuuu. <3

2008-08-30T23:30:00.000-07:00

2 more hours, and i would be overwhelmed by by cousins. geeee, i dont enjoy gathering as much now. we dun really have anything to do, except to talk some crap which can be so not interesting but how somehow boredom makes it really nice to discuss. then the day ends at night, where i will be all so tired and drained out i would feel really sian-ed.

holidays have started, but not a holiday for the sec 4s. mugging is now the must in our lives, we must keep mugging till olevels come. dun worry, its only a short 40plus days left. kind of scary come to think of it, when you still panic at prelims on how to do questions. and these questions are many many. they say olevels will be much easier, but i dunno, wad if i flunk it? oh no no negative thoughts. O.O

another i dun like about mugging is not entirely the things we study is really useless and boring. its cos its sort of changing people. its making people all stressed up and stuff. im starting to feel the stress, but its only the starting and im already so beaten by stress. we take olevels just to get a cert so next time we can find a job. T-T ahhhh quit complaining already, i still have to take it anyway. why not keep telling yourself olevels rocks OH YEAHHH!

went jamming on friday night, been so long since we jammed so it was all a big mess up. couldn move my fingers that fast and well as before. zixiang was real coool in playing Warmness On The Soul cos it sounded dam nice. ShiYuan keep doing funny actions! i kept dreaming about having gigs but now we dun have the standard and dun have the time, lets talk about it after olevels bah. (:

but come to think on the brighter side, i can enjoy my life with BB after the olevels, which is really exciting and satisfactory to me already. i really want the goood life to come after olevels, so right now i have to earn it by working hard for olevels yeah.

so today, i nvr seee BB at all, feel like im missing something. i feel so restless now, its the BB disease im having now. tomm will be better! and i realise i blog whenever i have gathering, which says it in the last post. im waiting for BB to change me a nicenice blogskin cos my blog looks very dark and emo wor. and oh i took a look at a racial harmony photo with BB in it and i went crazy cos guess wad, HER FACE DAM CUTE! but i just dunno how to put it in words how i exactly feeel, i think im smitten. ;DD

now the yueding starts counting day by day! children day will be a GREAT day! xD Now im blogging cos we found no more fun in playing Msn Instant Games, and received new installation of maple is finally successful for BB! OH YAYE CAN PLAY LE WOOOOH!

alright im signing off already, hope that gathering will be slightly more enjoyable. qi dai maple! xDDD

2008-07-27T00:57:00.000-07:00

im now all sooo hot and humid and sleepy due to spore's weather arghhh. and i lost my guitar's capo too! walau eh i really wanna find it out luh if not must go buy one. T-T sian and now my day's mood is spoilt zzzzzz. i wonder where did it go to? ._. alright i shall not be so short tempered luh cos BB is loveeeeeedd! =DDDDD

now my house its empty, its so quiet i wanna sleep. dun feel like going the gathering cos its super boriiiiiiiing. today cant see BB! ): i hate the feeling when my thoughts are so messed up luh now the guitar capo keep popping into my mind. =/ alright today is a totally boring day cos i still got some homework not done but seriously not in the condition to do them luh.

and now my mum calls back to tell me i have to go off soon le. sianzxzx total. sorry BB i will have to blog the next time! ):

2008-07-07T06:30:00.000-07:00

ZOMGZX blogzxz. hehehe now adopted a new way of talking by adding 'zxzx' behind words! hao lame worxzx. alright talk about today.

today is Youth Day! so youths should get some 'qing chun' and energy into you and go woahhhhhhhhhhh. 'qing chun' lol! so went with BB to bugis street to sop sop! i think i suck cos sop awhile feel quite tired. as in yao suan. then keep walking around just to find that big bag shop but cant seem to find it so settled at one coolzxz shop with quite coolzxz shop keeper. i dunno i kind of think he is coool( oh shit gay ) cos i got the bag i want!

then moving on the after main mission accomplished, BB got attracted by a few shops of their clothes and so she bought some too! but got scammed luh got one belt cost $5 we bought it woah, but found similar which cost only a good sum of $2! cool right got scammed out of it. BB bought a nice dress but no thingy to tighten, eh i scared later slip and drop how. =O BB also bought one jumper which i think look cute on her! =X

and then i stopped by one shop then saw this shop with some coolzxz buttonx shirtz so i went to ask for prize and size. prize not good size not good i went on and saw the same one and i asked again. but guess wad the shop upfront is the same as the one at the back congratz! so she gave me a good price and test out the size, actually quite okay luh. as commented by BB so i bought it yaye!

then i walked and walked again like dam long luh, kept ending up at the same place. then i start to wonder, why bugis like so small compared to last time. we keep ending up at the same spot and never really see any nice coolzxz thingzxz that attracted us to buy them. so really gave up before buying a cardigans which i think is too big but yet seems okay.

oh yar then got this fucker banged into me then keep staring like some motherfucker think he very zai. got one bloody noob cock moon face then keep staring. dun get it. said sorry to him yet kept staring like one lao cb. haiyo. okay ranting end.

so we were about to leave bugis street before BB pulled me to a miloo ape shirtzxz shop. then eh, they look quite nice sioll! so i bought a musician ape shirt yaye which fulfils my wants already. so left bugis street 99% contented. cos i want a nice red shirt(BB's fav colour) but dun have. in the end went out bought one nice drink which i drank up like less than 5mins. ._. went up one loooong bus before alighting at some peaceful stop and took 56, and yaye? we reached bishan!

back safe and sound and warm back in bishan, we went to fill up our stomach with the nice chicken rice atKIM SAN LENG. KSLKSLKSL. dam freaking nice but the soup the more i drink the more er xinzxz. went to drum abit and found my BB once again improved again. why does she keep improving while i dun? must be she keep coming down secretly train haiYOOOOOO.

alright then drumming halfway got some weirdos fuglies standing dam near me i lost my form in playing. totally cant take loserish behaviours like them. >:(

so went to m'phosis to look for BB's slippers but she cant make up her mind, so decided to go amk buy ___. so i went with her, and she keep telling the salesperson who is helping her in a soft tone cos she is PAISEH. then when she come out of changing room gave me a paiseh face dun think i dunno. relax man! she was imac-ing and paiseh-ing even when she finished her shopping business of ___. ( heh know your secret now le worzxz xD )

anwwwwww, so went arcade in amk again and then see her da-bao food for her family. really cant stand the cute face when trying to choose food for her family luh aiyoooooo. so after went home and then i went home.

today was rather fruitful cos i got wad i wanted she got wad she wanted and most importantly, I SPEND MY DAY WITH HER MUAHAHAHA. alright tomm is school so guess wad. thumbs down yeah? but we have to mug through this really and before we can realise, its all over yeah? olevels tests my determination and perseverance. >:( actually i also no such qualities just that BB is my fuel!

alright tomm is school i must end here. anw, i will cherish even the more cos i almost lost you BB! im really grateful. (: totally love! awesome!

okay anw add on today BB ________________ =OO (clue: only she know HAHA okay not very funny -.-)

2008-06-13T07:09:00.000-07:00

yup and im finally blogging OH YEAH! quite long nvr blog so kind of lost the art of blogging. ((((((:

okay so holidays are near the end, before we realise it we are back to school with that sick feeling of early morning in school. awwwww. first two weeks of holidays are taken for school already, so right now still feels fresh as if holidays are plentiful. but theres left one more week! DDD;

so recently hanged out with BB quite often, like i think almost everyday! but yaye i get to see her so YAYE. pretty much of slacking, a little bit of homework-doing, arcading and bishaning! i have been thinking of places to go and things to do but well cant come up with anything.

and recently also, i went kbox and like woah! quite a nice environment there to sing and slack and enjoy. only went twice, but both enjoyed to the max. kbox is cooolz okay. yeah im quite outdated lah but who cares!

and and i realise im quite fascinated by concerts and stuff cos when i watched concerts on youtube i can really feel the heat and sooo feel like going some coool and nice concerts!

and BB have been giving me much assurance lately! dun worry BB is always and always! =DDDDD

theres one week of holidays left but there are bbqs and events upcoming. well at least get to enjoy before mugging again. but come to think of it, i should really settle down to study cos olevels are really near. oh yes! and im not in any study mood at all! oh yes again.

alright im off, blogging from me is rare so do read my posts! =D

BB is my life; you just make me melt. x))

2008-04-27T05:58:00.000-07:00

hmm since quite long i blogged, its dam dead dun think anyone will even visit this stinking place. i shall blog for you!

hahaha, guess wad. LIFE IS STILL THE SAME AFTERALL. oh nonono its not same sec4 is much more much more stresssss, olevels are coming up real soon without much realisation.

midyears are starting as early as this coming tuesday. im still so not prepared for any examinations. must arm myself with pens and study informations.

okay lah other than that april has been a better month for me, cos its a new start for me! cos theres kenny bday and Earth Day and i so fucking love this day not because both falls on the same day, and not because i love Mother Earth sooo much, and not cause is Kenny the Donkey, its cause... i just love that day lah =DDDDDDDD

whenever exams draw near, i will have this kind of feeling i cant express in words, which feels more like fucked up and sleepy. cant get my attention towards the boring content of booooks.

ahhh nvm i shall be determined cos i got my fuel to keep me moving, but not for today lah cos today is really sleepy + cmi. tomm shall be a better day! i hope my fuel will keep working well, dun suddenly break down if not car cant move O.O

alright shall stop here, im not a good blogger but oh well, who cares anyway! cheeeer up to everyone who is feeling blue, start to feel red and orange and yellow! =D

2008-03-29T19:16:00.000-07:00

hi blog. since tons of ages since i posted a shit here. so got this blood rush in me to post something, talk about life now!

its about the same here and there tho, cos all you need to do is study and study. got back report card yesterday, improved in some subs failed some subs. haiizzzzz need more effort to be put in homework and studies. boring shitzzxz.

went surfing a few blogposts, realised they are all quite emo and down in their life. come on dun feel so lousy always! anw i have decided that i should just live life as it is, be happy with wad you have and stop going 'how i wish' and such.

alright short post but have to go. bye peeople!(this blog like dead already lahhhh)

2008-03-11T09:38:00.000-07:00

march hols have started. have been having much night life, it makes me feel i have neverending time with me i can keep speeeending and spending. have been subconsciously forgetting about band and studies, but guess wad, AFTER MARCH HOLS IM GONNA STUDY LIKE ONE DUMB FUCK. YEAHHHHH.

2008-02-25T03:25:00.000-08:00

life is so effed up, i kept getting lost at wad to do at many situations. i want to study but i get dam lethargic everytime i go to school. and can that bloody taoyee do something about our chem tuition. its been stuck for a month plus. hope can quit, dun think parents let, but i just cant listen in tuitions. i have to get myself in study mode now, I HAVE TO IF NOT IM NOT GONNA START. ahh whatever, lets talk about school.

life is typically the same(like always), its getting worse i cant stand school as time passes. this week is test week, there a row of tests waiting for me to fail them, but i believe i can score.(believe.) im gonna go study amaths now, but ff tired. bu yao du shu! ):

2008-02-22T01:53:00.000-08:00

i must get this damn feeling over me if not i might be damn emoooo. and im starting to become weird how?? im behaving weirdly whenever im sian and i want to high, no one wants to. im off, i hope, i will find an antidote someday. Someday.

Current life = school studies SIANZ

2008-02-17T02:45:00.001-08:00

im stripped of my tie for now, but im dam motivated by adam khoo to study!

2008-02-11T05:31:00.000-08:00

updates of my life. nothing really much lah. when school starts, my mood is always blue. just dun really have any life to do anything exciting, cos often rejected. and today, Reject Day for me. not the first time, cos everyone wants me to 'fuck off'. total reject man, need people to keep rejecting me to constantly remind me that im a BIG loser. but i will live happy anyway. went to art club, was the usual sianzation feeling in me. finally got out of the damn school, went to find victor and louise, coincidentally meeting korwoong and waiteng. the day wasnt good, neither was it bad. just a neutral day. i want another jam awwwwwwwwwwwwww

EDIT: my lame motivational camp is this thurs, along with Valentine's Day. so coooool worx!

2008-02-06T06:23:00.000-08:00

YAY CNY CNY CNY CNY CNY CNY CNY CNY CNY CNY CNY CNY CNY CNY CNY CNY CNY CNY CNY CNY CNY CNY CNY CNY CNY CNY CNY CNY CNY CNY CNY CNY CNY CNY CNY CNY CNY CNY CNY CNY CNY CNY CNY CNY CNY CNY CNY CNY CNY CNY CNY CNY CNY CNY CNYCNY CNYCNY CNY CNY CNY CNY CNY CNY CNY CNY CNY CNY CNY CNY CNY CNY CNY CNY CNY CNY CNY CNY CNY CNY CNY CNY CNY CNY CNY CNY CNY CNY CNY CNY CNY CNY CNY CNY CNY CNY CNY CNY CNY CNY CNY CNY CNY CNY CNY CNY CNY CNY CNY CNY CNY CNY CNY CNY CNY CNY. okay enough we must start to sing some chinese new year songs to feel the china feeling and starts to wear lots of red clothing. i dun really look forward to CNY cos the 'teens' section of my cousins have downed to one person that i can 'play'. wah dam sian. must tradition these few days. sian de worx. enjoy CNY people. :)

anw, tag replies:
val: oh okay thanks thanks thanks.
EL: i know im not okay i promise.
jianan: wah gain experience then can level up right.
waiteng: awwwwwww i aint got a screwdriver to unscrew it. help!

2008-01-28T03:17:00.000-08:00

screwed life. i dun want to live anymore. ):

2008-01-26T09:12:00.000-08:00

today went jamming again. i think im abit deaf now, cos everything around means seems to sound so soft! aiyy bored of studies, thought that studies really really sucks cos it causes lots of unhappiness.(lame) tomm gonna do homework, most hateful part of life, but well SFNF right? ):

2008-01-21T03:43:00.000-08:00

ahhh help. sec 4 is really starting to kill me. homework loads still okay, but no time to do always! got staybacks like almost everyday after school, only able to rest during the damn weekends. weekends suddenly felt so gooood when you are not having holidays. but when they feels gooood, they would end very very fast like wtf dun even have much time to think much, and then poof the whole day its gone just because of one activity. sigh, i had sort of forgot about arcade, hardly care about whether i got play anot. but wasnt any much livelier when school starts, so boriingly have to be constantly get involved with school stuff. there isnt any time for anything else. but well, if i made up SFNF then i should make do with it. hope this year passes really fast and get done with olevels, but also dun want it to be too fast. wah cb contradict.

i still misses you alot;if i told you how i really felt would it change the whole thing?left out=/

2008-01-19T09:08:00.000-08:00

yay changed blog skin. well i think i looks nice. aiya, blog already dead. doesnt make any difference. life hasnt change much, just some nice jamming and along with an auntie whom scolded us vulgarities. sensation of scolding back was nice. not much. sort of straighten the way of life.

2008-01-11T01:44:00.000-08:00

hey im the monitor now and my new year resolution is to be a nerd and keep studying till end of sec4. yay

2007-12-25T08:26:00.000-08:00

well my blog posts are really boring, that might explain why izit so dead, as in the tagboard or wad. i had already fallen out of the com world, im so used to not using com. thats weird, cos many cant live without coms. i feel bored of com really, so i indulge in hanging out. but hanging out doesnt make it better in anyway.

recently had a nothing happening. as in the whole of holidays, nothing really good happens. hence, i no-lifed like a dick. only a slight change in events recent two days. that is today and yesterday. YESTERDAY, went countdown but it was quite disappointing in the end. dam anti-climax siah the whole spore. wonder wad happened to the always 'on-ness' they have. budden we spent some quality time doing quality talking when back in bishan at s11 playground. the atmosphere was dam still and quiet and fine, and we talked much about life, catching fishes, working for own bowl of rice and potatoes and more. quite enjoyable, but resulted in me being groggy the next day.

TODAY, went dam early to meet fr, was dam tired and took a fucking fucking long ride to EXPO to watch the play. wasnt expecting much but it turned out quite okay. the people there are really friendly. but when back in bishan, once again stuck and was so desperate but the sudden random idea of riding bike in east coast saved us. so went there and reached at 7plus, quite late. cycled till 9plus, visited vland at east coast and took bus all the way back and reached home 12 i think. life is still as boring.

i have planned, the remains of the holidays. that i should spend the remaining days wisely by finishing my mass homework and then going out only at the later part of the day. so when 31 dec comes i can enjoy fully without worrying. but come to think of it the stressful year is really near, we cant afford to play that much. have to really concentrate man. so i hope study group makes things better. qi dai de worrxx. one year later, shall see wad would happen to wenxun. =/

2007-12-17T07:45:00.000-08:00

not much to elaborate, basically the stayover turned out quite okay. pia 3 movies, though enjoyed but watch until bek chek. learned mahjong! the worst part is nearing morning, when everyone decided to sleep and then all KO. was so freaking tired cant concentrate. well, now im safe back at home. feel so, warm yet cold.

i dunno why, i feel so lonely. for the first time in my life, i feel this lonely. though i get freedom everyday, but whenever i go back home, its an empty one. it feels so fuck up hearing only myself opening doors, and busy with my stuff. sian. its only the second day.

2007-12-14T08:21:00.000-08:00

sian. so sian. i really hope to help but i guess its like, i cant do much help, and im not needed to help. never interact for soo long. feeling very pathetic of myself now, having been doing shit stuff throughout the holidays. nothing much fun or productive, or memorable except for the chalet week. but its like in a flash, the holidays have passed 3/4 in a real quick manner, and we are all going to sec 4. fuck it man, i dun wanna stress for olevels yets, its so damn it. when olevels is over, means no more secondary school life, which also means we are taking a step nearer to work in the society. sian. now my life only revolves around BDC and soccer. not much, others have been losing alot of contact. knnb.

[EDIT]
i fell so hard like a dick today, my wounds burn like hell when in contact with water. ughh

2007-12-13T07:06:00.000-08:00

hi im back to blogging cos found out i really got nothing to do so decided to blog. well not much to blog about, life has been the same, freaking same, just hanging out with the usual people. today went bugis, linked play and found out abit boring. not that much exciting. went back bishan, wanted to play hunting, but heng scared like a dog so ran all the way back home. went up to his house, koped slippers but got caught by his mum. not much in the end pillared weilong, was quite nice. was still quite early so went to bc at 144, old nice block. and then played until so indulged in it say got people call police. nabeh. run lor but was not much kick.

gosh now the time is running really slow, how i hope everyday the time is running this slow. it has been quite awhile but yet its still not past 12. yawn boring.

2007-12-06T06:01:00.000-08:00

chalet ended. and i think theres something wrong with me again. like how i flare up when they were all procrastinating after noted about taking photos. cos maybe, i just keep saying but they nvr really wanted to take a photo. but perhaps in the deeper inside, i treasure photos alot now. memories would always fade, as time gets longer the memory gets blurrer, and somehow who knows they might be slowly forgotten. like now, im left with memories of last time, but when i look back i couldn really see anything. its like so fade, and i regretted and asked myself why the hell we didn even take a photo altogether. after spending so much time together, we all did not take a single photo. however i think im really something wrong at times. like too emotional. or maybe fed up. sian starting to get tired. shall end this post of reflection. bye.

2007-12-03T07:06:00.000-08:00

shagged now, gotta sleep soon for tomm chalet again. two chalets in a row. abit sianned and tired of it. dunno why just suddenly want some rest and dun care about anything anymore.

2007-11-29T07:31:00.000-08:00

fuck i think theres something wrong with me. seriously something wrong. like i got so dam irritated and fucked up when they reminded me of me being an atm machine. commented on the many different partners i have everytime i sold icecream, which explains everything. and then, when playing soccer got so out of control i typically shouted at weilong. aiya fuck lah. theres something wrong with me seriously. but i cant find the damn cure. chalet is coming very soon. dun really thought of any exciting things to do or whatever. and i cant seem to bring up much effort to do something cheerfully or whatever. ahhhh nvm, feel like im wasting alot of time in my life doing nothing productive. but who cares, my life is SCREWED.

2007-11-28T08:54:00.001-08:00

boriiing everyday doing the same old stuff. but today went out with fr and jiale. like we went out to kovan and went bugis for some drumming, the pads fucking nice to hit! then got so fucking nothing to do, we went ps and walked around, slacked, loiter here and there. strangely got really tired, mentally. but theres more to go. this coming week would be chalet week, 6days straight at pasir ris woah. think gonna die of fatigue and such, so would be MIA from 1-6dec. think will buay tahan like fuck but nevertheless it would mark an interesting part in my hols, instead of usual regular oh-so-normal life. CCB

2007-11-26T06:19:00.001-08:00

tired like a fuck. and i think i would be twice more shag when the chalets come together. OMG im gonna tired like a damn fuck. went to 3e5 chalet yesterday, was quite okay, but the main hightlights were the bbq, learning how play some gambling game, dawn walk and cant think of anymore. quite some slack chalet, but i dunno why i cant tahan. haiiiiiiiiiii cant be bothered to blog the rest of the details LAZY so sorryyyy byebye.

2007-11-22T03:37:00.000-08:00

aiyooooooooooooooo this is so sad. when people wants to earn some nice bucks, they would come to me to work with me icecream. so by the end of the day, they would be very happy and then wad happens onwards? disappear. cos im just like a money tree, or bank account. when money is needed come to me, when dun need then nvr talk to me. aiyooooooo why i become such a person. ))):

2007-11-21T09:51:00.000-08:00

sigh. i dunch know. i will feel sad whenever your are seen enjoying the best of your life. i should, too, but somehow i cant. cos i wanna be part of your, but i cant fit into the damn picture. i might be small but there wouldn be any space for me to fit into it, or rather i might spoil the whole damn picture. i should cherish wad i have now, and enjoy the best of life, or rather say enjoy the remaining holidays before the O' s, but somehow i just cant. i dunno, and i contradict much. i like it this way, but i also dun like it this way. why? this feeling has been lingering for dam long, but well if im happy right now, i should just stay it this way. i shouldn also care wad others say, if i very much enjoy the happy times now. i dunno. i really really dunno.

2007-11-21T09:25:00.000-08:00

shall post some photos on my recent very simple yet no-life LIFE. zzzzz. yeah im just someone dam no-life and fucked up so stay away from me.

lim weilong/tay kaihui/lim cheebai/nosehair/nippleboy/golden pussy =DD

eh relac lah why so fierce

wads so exciting?

caught watching porn. haiyooooo

hey guys if you want the latest hits you must get from this guy cos hes very techno and IN he would listen to the hottest list of latest hits. remember get it from this bastard.

ooooooh shiiiiiiyuan

WANKING

2007-11-14T07:19:00.001-08:00

IM HUNGRY.
i feel like eating all the food in this world right now, my stomach is grumbling. and im looking forward to tomm at victor house. can do fun stuff HOHO.

2007-11-14T06:38:00.000-08:00

hmm now currently having one nicenice mood to blog, so guess im gonna blog a looong post out. lets start with.. TODAY.

today is seriously some very fast day. waked up at 12pm and had to do some chore left by my mum. so was quite late when reached amk library for study. ended up only me, lam, yuting and shihui went there. i guess lam is still very depressed. cant really concentrate, cos stuck at question and skipped and get stucked again. so ended up playing with other people handphones. haha was quite fun. so went for guitar was quite late for it, and played some arcade in the night before going home.

i dunno wad happened, but i think i have really let go of it. like finally. im not very sure, cos it always comes back to me, the feeling isnt very nice. well i got ALOT ALOT of WANTS in the december holidays. november holidays are quite sucky, abit wasted so looking forward to decmeber holdays.

WANTS:
1)get new specs
2)fix my phone
3)selling icecream and clearing with ease
4)going east coast ride bike with BDC
5)going town with BDC
6)chalets!
7)slack at night and have some nice talking

i have so many things to list out lah. too looking forward le. sadly i cant go to Kukop with 6agapians cos my chalet lies on the exact dates. and i really really want to bring BDC to some life instead of arcading whole day. gonna go organise some fun soon. =D

but the DARK SIDE of my life is still quite fuck up. im waiting for next week to be over, cos needa study for re-exams and such eeeeyer! but after that should be left of one month of enjoyment. yucks this is sort of the last period of fun and stuff, cos next year would be a very busy year studying and stressing etc. boooooohoo, had lots of regrets in life too. many to list out lah, like nvr take much photos of the past, nvr cherish enough and many more. siann time passes REALLY really fast its so irritating. and i will miss mr ang loads man. one great good teacher.

okay whatever. recently have been switching my songs to more of the chinese side. cos i found out they are getting nicer, i dunno why? like 牛仔很忙(which is funny and cute), 彩虹,分裂 and much more lah. knowing the lyrics is much more meaningful lah.

guess i will stop here. running out of stuff to write already. i heard from somewhere and saw from somewhere that, if there are regrets in your life, try to your best ability to do wad you can to make up for it. yeah ill try, but its always a futile attempt... ):

okay signing off here. not very long post i think. o.o

2007-11-03T07:20:00.000-07:00

i no lifed like a fcuker today, once again. sigh, i REALLY REALLY want to have some good fun or something, but theres nothing to do. no people to do with. only can sell the fcuking icecream to waste off some time. pathetic shit

2007-10-29T06:19:00.000-07:00

wah cb fucking tired throughout the day. can barely stay awake. when forcing myself awake, felt so drowsy and dizzy so wtf cant tahan but slept alot today. cant take it. last night went to ps with Juggernaut(jiale worx), victor and joseph and spend some time at arcade. wah dam no life really. then Juggernaut lost his poor phone. at first we thought both of us were trying to prank each other lah but found out someone took i think. quite hum that guy. left his game halfway just to getaway with a lousy phone. after that dun think Juggernaut felt nice, then he went to pound some characters in Tekken 5. saw alot of skilled drummers, like can exclaim that kind one lah. and sorry Juggernaut, i left you at ps that day. went with victor and joseph to find louise at toapayoh mac afterwards. they were really doing homework, while i stoned and listened to music and joseph weird-ing/stupid-ing/funny-ing. weird guy lah he. reached home at night and orh2 already. TIRED.

2007-10-26T10:30:00.000-07:00

well, had some no life today. went selling icecream to earn some real good cash! sold 24 boxes WOAH but nvr get that much amount of money though as last time): nvm must be satisfied. anw went to Rk prata house to eat with vic, dominic and joseph till now i came back. yawn so dam tired but dunn wanna sleep.

i feel damn inferior.

2007-10-25T04:06:00.000-07:00

have been feeling quite down nowadays. i guess i only told kenny yesterday or something. but the thing is like "makes no differenc"e lah. and i will be one sad adult who would look back at my teenage years and feel very sad and remorse lol. im lost at the thought of holidays, cos i wonder wad will i do? i dun really want arcading with my old people, but hanging out with them very carefree yet lifeless. boring lets just not think about this kind of shit. its no use anyway right. i just kept thinking last time till recently until i got loads of white hair. eeeeeeeee erxin worx. bek cek of the higher chinese timed practice everyday. CAN DIE. byebye blog. i will be selling ice cream tomm. (:

2007-10-22T01:28:00.000-07:00

so sick and tired all the needless breathing. so fucked up nowadays. er always sorry.

2007-10-15T05:59:00.000-07:00

gee i dunno wads got into me. depression? nah. okay im quite upset but i dun need people to care or pity me. maybe all along im just all along volunteerily trying to keep organising shitzxz but i dun think anyone really appreciate it. wad i get the feeling was, "lazy to come out; wanna stay at home; dun want go this meaningless-no-life place; wenxun likes to go out too much". i know, but im trying hard to think of places but paiseh i cant. i also want to have life just that i lost them all some time ago. then always im forcing myself to be happy, trying to liven their sianned faces but kena di siao/guailan. if they were to read this they would be thinking wtf. aiya sian of saying all these shitzxz already, i should just stop keep asking them go out or wad. since its no-life and aimless to go this way, and i agree too, so im a damned pessimist. you think wad you like, i give no qualms. and if, anyone wants to ask me about wad happened, actually theres nothing to tell you so no need to try. feel bek chek about explaining this whole thing, then nvm forget it lah since its so difficult to let me understand. just HECK CARE okay.

2007-10-15T01:20:00.001-07:00

hahahaha actually im just one pathetic guy lah. really and seriously. aimless always? dam pathetic lah wtfffffff.

2007-10-15T00:59:00.000-07:00

im stuck, always. help? fat hope. im, lost and dead right now.

2007-10-12T20:46:00.000-07:00

yesterday was <3! LOL. we started out by playing with outsiders soccer and slowly just got the feel of soccer-ing. rested and played, was really fun cos we were playing in the heavy rain and hecked. lam and ty went to pick ball from canal even. nice day. want to have another such day again. its has been so quite long that i really enjoyed and played. but then again, walking around the neighbourhood makes me feel so dam nostalgic again. makes me keep thinking of just enjoying the simple life which i couldn.

enough of it already. night time went out again, to find myself with fr, fel, manxuan, samuel, jiale and xiaohan. nice to see him once again. and he looks quite cute in his bald hairstyle =O so we hanged out till late night. looking at them smoke, looking at fr learning how to fight so enthusiastically and seen how he got pwn by dominic lolol. so overall quite an enjoyable day but right now, im aching like fuck it pains me to move about, even to walk a few steps. alright lets stop here. now i know im just a really small someone whom people could just heck-ed me off.

2007-10-11T06:44:00.000-07:00

i cant help it. too much of fucked up things kept coming into my world. maybe they are just part of life? but if they are all partially interlinked to one another or somewhat, how am i gonna have my LIFE? maybe being DIAM is a good way to escape out of everything.

2007-10-11T06:18:00.000-07:00

now, all i have left is just a pathetic sigh. cos, life is dam dam cool and nice.

2007-10-07T20:53:00.000-07:00

gee now kinda sian ah. nowhere to go everyone got activities. cooool. i thot monday would be fun cos everyone would be busy in school while i can slack. wanted to wake up at 8plus de to enjoy some morning air budden overslept. i dunno but now do wad?

EDIT
ahhhhhh taoyee that idiot ps me. walau now feel dam sianned. ):

2007-10-07T09:11:00.000-07:00

ehhhh not really feeling very gooood feeling quite sad! so many things to saddd about nabeh. nvm shall post some pics man.

look like?

twist family

aiya just look at the most shuai one strips shirt one can liao.

=)))))))))))))))))) i look like insect, dont i? kawaii nehx^^

jianan's old company, still working though. very old but very effective!

typical cool picture man. shihui likes!

sialah scary budoh. like ghost

hahaha so fun i play on old's man facility cos i old man

drools and dozing off* ughuuugh so nice sleep sleep

guess wad im doing?? =DDD

eeeheehee hiding in my shirt so fun =P

hey im weird im called han kiang if not wrong. i love putting hands into my shirt and play with my boddiiiee =D

ehhhh ehh ehh see me play drum zai skiiiillllls dun look down on me okay! fast hands leh can not?

eeeheeeeeheeee wenxun take picture of me

i look like innocent bear?

OI KNN CHEEEEEBAI BUAYSONG AH LOOK SIMI LAN WATCH OUT I KUUUUUUUUUUUKU YOU!

2007-10-05T09:06:00.000-07:00

im not having any nice mood now. but after dunno what happened, it certainly pokes into my angst even more. like wtf. i dunno wad to say to you anymore. cant you understand? or dun you ever understand. its like you just dun realise wad you are wrong and just keeps thinking we are treating you this way. aiya FUCK LAH. i just dunno how to clear this thing. mcb.

2007-10-03T02:17:00.000-07:00

yawn im kind of lethargic now after a day of heavy papers. chem was quite fine i guess, hope i can at least get a B3 nah fat hopes! history was quite screwed lah i dunno wad im doing and i was slacking throughout so did not have the time to finish the damn essay. and oh yeah. wad am i doing here infront of the com? i still got two more days to go before EOYs are officially over. ))): but im a physics guy and friday would be a slack paper.

some part of me wanted to go look into the physics textbook and revise all the stuff. but the other part of me got so pissed by my mum and so darn tired i wanna go deep deep sleep. okayyyy i just need to wait one more day. physics and emaths should be no kicks!(i do hope)

jianan me and kenny went to eat opposite after the exams and we slacked so long we nearly slacked our brains out of exams. at playground was nice, talked many many stuff on the past and found out many wonderful stuff in life. hate it when we went home. cos its like reality slammed coldly into my face, telling me no slacking, exams and studies are the thing of life. WAH LOVE(kenny love phrase o.o)

and we found out one quite nice sentence. Looking back a few times wont hurt, but looking back always will result in a great fall. YEAH MOVE ON WITH LIFE LAH NABEH. and guess we are all too no life and very unenjoyable people, always doing the same old boring stuff. aiya like we want! siann-ed. i lost my life since some time ago.

i had a nice fall anw.

2007-09-28T04:47:00.000-07:00

sian feeling abit emo now. cant take it everytime when there is nothing to do. kinda tired like, mentally and physically. and im scared of EOYs. i want do well! but no motivation to study worxxxxxxx. and im actually thinking after EOYs wad would we be doing. wtf! come on i need study i put play aside first. but right now, not alot of mood to study. sigh. i wish i could help you, but i guess you dun need.

2007-09-22T10:31:00.000-07:00

EOYs are coming real soon. i really REALLY wanna do well but i got no motivation and mood to study! tomm want a full pia-ing of homework and studies, but got that fucking lit project. aww so dam hate it. anw mr ang send me an email saying i might be barred from exams if hair too long! wtf such shock and amazement. gonna go sleep bye.

2007-09-08T07:39:00.000-07:00

SCHOOLS REOPENING VERY SOON =O STUDIES AGAIN. HOLIDAYS AINT FUN AT ALL

2007-09-06T09:42:00.000-07:00

oh yeah. went to watch 1303 apartment today. kinda bloody and gore so disgusting but found some parts funny. today was overall, quite a happy day. lazy blog -.-

2007-09-05T09:33:00.000-07:00

today i seem rather happy. dunno why just feel light-hearted. nvr go further think of anymore stuff already, went to fix guitar with fr and then bought a lame luminous pick and see loads of cooool stuff in the showroom. like awesome drumsets, elec guitar, drumsticks, and more. headed back to fr hosue after the fixing, tried drummania V on ps2, kinda weird. headed for guitar got a new song to play yay, dinner at the oh-so-regularly-visited mac and went drumming. got quite confused over some stuff but glad its settled. go catch some sleep already byebye.

2007-09-04T08:07:00.001-07:00

life is so dam full of shit.

2007-09-03T06:01:00.000-07:00

hahahaah im not exactly happy. partially cos i dun have a nice holidays. its already the start already, or rather if you would love sleeping it would just pass real fast. today wasnt exactly a great day. had a squirming stomache in the early morning till the end of amaths ssp. wasnt feeling quite right and have to bear with it.

went home like a drenched chicken(chinese "luo tang qi" why the hell izit chicken weirddd) and changed to set off for vland again. met up with friends, many today. ahmad came with his sarcasm today surprisingly when i was drumming. nothing much, went to amk real fast and came back. was all so tired, like visually(spiritually whtever) and physically. went to find victor and bunch, went home with heng, eating my crunchy, big peanut waffle O.O

i dunno why, but i just finished my fucking acelearn quiz like i was one of the few that completed this early. tomm is going out for a better life, i hope. and theres still tuition. nice one.

i thought you had forgotten me since long ago.

2007-09-02T07:44:00.000-07:00

sigh notice i haven been having much nice life. well i dun ever had any do i? went to watch movie with shiyuan and weilong and we were talking loads of crap. many about the things we used to do in the past, come to think of it sort of missing them. got all so nostalgic, crapped many random and lame stuff too. anw they are gone by 8plus so i went back vland to find jiale spamming his money there. hes more addict than i am. then reached home and now fussing over whether to do homework anot. many would just say 'dun do lah' but my good conscience say i must. nahhh too lazy.

holidays starting. dun think it would be a fun one though i expect alot. after this relaxing period, we have to pia studies again sigh sian

2007-08-25T09:19:00.001-07:00

the emotions always get to me during the night where your mind starts to relax and think of stuff. it always gets to the core of me. damn, but well got some things to say. not much, just that im able to play:
Monster Tree(EXT)
Dragon Blade(ADV)
Ino.....(EXT)

nothing much, just some shit 'achievement'. why cant i forget. and live life so nicely.

2007-08-24T08:40:00.000-07:00

why do i keep thinking. thinking and thinking, and keep having hopes that will die and rise again and again.

2007-08-23T02:50:00.000-07:00

yawn imm just fucking tired. let me go away in peace.

2007-08-18T08:43:00.000-07:00

no feel to blog recently. many undesirable stuff going on. im soo darn tired my eyes feel so miserable but i dun wanna sleep. homework loads to be done, wonder if tomm should go out. wanna rest and stay at home, but dun think will last. wanna quit all the complicated stuff, let me fall into deep sleep! imm off to do homework. just some random post. =/

BFC= big fat chicken. ahh random thinking again.

2007-08-02T04:34:00.000-07:00

haha i gonna blog randomly now haha. every sentence must have a HAHA i dunno why but feel like doing so. today went to school and was the first to reach class haha. i sat down there and felt so peaceful and quiet downthere but decide to revise abit chem haha. wasnt very sure of chem haha. then he came out not very good haha. then throughout the whole day wasnt very interesting haha, everything is fucking boring and puts me to sleep haha. after school de ssp finish le haha, we went to kovan and also wasnt very interesting haha. everything is dam sian nowadays lah haha. even if it would seem interesting haha, i cant HAHA out of my mouth haha. i cant smile lah haha. nvm gotta go like have been using com very seldom haha cos study hahahaha so guai nabeh.

shouldnt care about these stuff already. and, cant i just forget.

2007-07-28T07:45:00.000-07:00

these few days getting quite emotional. those stuff kept poping into my mind. why cant i forget them. its quite an agony to keep getting troubled by those stuff. sian. i hope alot, but it can nvr happen anymore. fuck, got nothing to cover for all these stuff. everything seems to darkened to a worse state. no longer got anything to expect of, to be happy about or to get excited about. i keep falling and falling, its like neverending.

2007-07-20T10:02:00.000-07:00

went out at 7pm plus, went amk hub to find only jes and fr was there. so played drum and bball. have been playing drum every weekend like a bloody no life, but well, was there a choice to live a better life. nothing more interesting meaningful can i find already. everyday going the same places, doing same things, and the feeling cant be lifted into happiness no matter how. not that happy these days. again, i wanna quit school and sleep for life. nah, no one cares. yawn kinda tired. i mean, fucking tired i didn realise until i posted. go to sleep ciaoz~ people.

2007-07-20T03:06:00.000-07:00

sian. everyday is like getting from bad to worse, worse to worst. its getting sian-er and sian-er everyday and got nothing much in mind to do. homework is part of my life now, like wtf. i need some life. suddenly when i look out of the window of the bus just now, i saw this beautiful lump of fluffy bright white clouds in the clear blue sky, i wanna just sit there and forget everything in this world. heck care all the mafan stuff. and im feeling nostalgic all over again. fuck it.

2007-07-19T04:40:00.000-07:00

serious fuck life. these weeks have been going to school myself, so i gonna wake fucking early to prepare. always wanna go school earlier but whenever wake up, i will feel bloody tired until i cant take it i just wanna throw myself out of the window and just die lah. nabeh. and its always the same we got nothing meaningful or nice to do, would be just so fucking sian. i cant take it, just dun wanna go to school lah. have been separated from the com world for quite awhile that im scared i might just dunno everything in the future. everyday go home is study. im so tired im not bothered to write or think of wad to write anymore. so guess will leave my blog for quite some period of time before coming back to post.

2007-07-14T08:19:00.000-07:00

today woke up to eat breakfast and lunch and then set off to tuition. on the way drop by arcade to see kenneth and weilong, long time no see babes. then went to chem tuition which is boring. after that we went to kovan arcade, ty went home. ate dinner and went drumming again. tried many zai songs. could complete:

Tian Ti...(Extreme 43)
Da Qie...(Extreme 40)
Hua..(Extreme 39)
Breakdown...(Extreme 39)
Fantastic Factory...(Extreme 63)

aiya nothing to zai about. continue with elearning.

2007-07-13T09:08:00.000-07:00

finally, got into abit of mood or something liddat to blog about today's outing. went to watch harry potter in the early morning, but we got late inside so missed out the front part. wanna watch again cos the graphics is so dam nice. potty mood. after movies went lunch at pizza hut where we ordered lunch set meal or something and after that, the girls went home. sh with her stead, ziyu with his stead and wanni went to buy water bottle(SHUI3 HU2 MUST PRONOUNCE DAM CLEAR). then its boys hours already we went to amk hub new arcade and wasted our whole day there. i was clearly addicted to drum and kept putting credits. think others got bored. not much. dunno wad has got into my head to keep thinking and playing with drum. izit cos its 13th friday that some evil evil stuff got into my head. nah i just wanna sleep now. gotta pia finish amaths elearning first.

2007-07-12T04:44:00.001-07:00

i got too many high hopes that turned to false hopes in the end. why expect good stuff in life. all these shitzxz. real shitzxz.

quit.

2007-07-12T02:22:00.000-07:00

sian.

2007-07-06T06:22:00.000-07:00

i so fucking hate studies. always never ending homework, tuition and the 'dothisdothat' stuff from naggy parents. seriously, i wanna quit school.

2007-07-03T07:15:00.000-07:00

I LOVE TUITION
I LOVE TUITION
TUITION ROCKS
TUITION ROCKS
TUITION BURN BRAINS TUITION BURN MY BRAINS
TUITION WOOOH
TUITION WOOOH

haiis some random tune about my utmost love for tuition. its only the start of two tuitions and im already dead halfway. I CANT TAKE IT. well today got youth day celebration nothing much, cos spend my recess mugging at the library. ZOMG guai~.

and we played bball at SCHOOL, which i haven been doing for years, cos last time i liked it cos i have a SIMPLE SIMPLE life. lets not talk about the sian stuff. they have been popping up everyday cos just.. sian lah.

I WANNA BE A DROPOUT AND SPEND MY DAY LISTENING TO THE BEAUTIFUL CHIRPINGS OF THE BIRDIES AND SEE THE TREES SWAY SIDE TO SIDE GENTLY WITH VERY NICE FLUFFY WHITE CLOUDS.

still, all these are randomness. i wonder if im feeling happy now. =S